sleep well

Since my junior middle school, i learned to study in the deep night, with music flying around the space between my ears, with light moon and stars hanged in the sky. i like the feeling of embraced by the darkness, that seems the real peace ane quietness would fell, juct like the twinkling that Elizabeth start to play, the voice of shizuki, magically, brought audiences to the world of 闇.

I didn't sleep last night, it's not so much studying as enjoy the peacefulness presented by the midnight. I'm not sure why i chose yesterday to be a regression to my original life which i always belong to, but the consequence of changing is the new and 'advanced' lifestyle brought me more painfulness and less aquisitions, and the reason of which should be due to the more attention on courting the cost of what i lost that i never to be like.

3 days ago i asked my father how he handled his spoken en when lived in foreign countries in his early life, instead of answering my question, he talked about many staff about the obervious distinctions between easten and westen countries.. but, rudely, i interrupted his talking with impacience for the reason that he's not answering my question! and after that i realised that how stupid i was when dad explained the meaning of learning another language -- the real purpose hinting in the language learning should be getting to have a knowledge of the corresponding culture. In other words, it will be effortless to improve the spoken part to talk with local just with only one purpose, but multiaspects which, instead, help obtain a prograss imperceptibly. It means it will be more helpful if i can have an interest or will in understanding a different culture rather than just to get a high mark on the language test.

Undoubltly, learning with an interest is the happiest thing in the world, i draw, photograph, write, read because i like them, i can get a high mark on math is also because i like it. but recently the more i grow up, the less this thought exists, because the attitude to everything i'm doing is changing to a general one that for the money, reputation despite of the personality of oneself, which means I AM LOST myself in this world. how terrible it is...Forturenitely, i stop before i lost more. it's a scheme whose director owns thousend years life and implimentors are full of this world. i'm now understanding my father more and more and getting ready to continue his life unable to complete in that certain environment.