suck me!

Look what i've done yesterday: i throwed the cloths that stored up for 2 weeks into the washing machine, swiching on the power, opening the water tap..opps..i forgot to tip the washing powder!! u could say that i can stop the machine and pour it in then. But, it's already too late to realized the thing after airing them in my room.. u know how i found it? because today when enter into my room, no smell of washing powder was wafted to me as usual. so stupid am i, even though i dont think these cloths would be reclear with washing powder again, i'm a lazy lady as u know all the time...

I just held a phone 5 mins earlier, surprisely, someone who want to buy my second-hand textbook that i advertised it on the billboard in my school several days ago, is just my classmate! oh..this world is definitely small! More coincidentely, i help one of my friend sell another textbook to this girl last week and plan to bring it to her this 水曜日, seems my shoulder will break heavy load...So i've got a question that why westen textbook are so heavy? or say, do they have to be produced in this mode? In my country, bringing two or three books at the same time is very offten and we won't feel it that hard for taking, since the paper used to making book is nomal type, just a bit like the copy paper, so the weight will be more lighter than the one that using advertising paper, like the book here in Aus. I used to ask such question to a classmate from HongKong, he said the reason is that it's more convinient to read because there are some vivid colours and pictures, and also the weight let them feel profession on the subject...Then that means, in my mind, boring words can be not that boring with some make-up to them...but to me, it's all the same...

The Unbearable Lightness Of Being

another boring day gone.. i did nothing but finishing reading the book called The Unbearable Lightness Of Being, whose writer is MILAN KUNDERA from Czechia. I've read it around 1 year ago, if it not were one of my friend spoken of it, i almost forgot that i've read it before. Surprise but not shame of it, because for this book, it's very hard to understand without an accumulation of knowledge, from philosophy, politic to love. And apperently, i have no ability to understand the content even a little a year before. Even now, i dare not say that i got a definitely idea about what the author want to express. but undoubltly, all these stories, theory cited serve to a key point, which, in my mind, are also suffered from the Milan himself, of unliberty consequence brought from the invasion of Russia, that keeping the people within the bounds of one thought, same behavour from the activity of closing the entertainment place, prohibiting the right of talking that different from the center's rules and also incuding striking the intelligent people.

When I think about this novel, an article, written by Lu Xun, one of the most famous Chinese writer, always comes into my mind, whose content in general has some relation to it, maybe similar..and the reason for that maybe because these two countries suffered from a similar history background -- they both being impacted seriously by Russial. That artical discuss a strategy often applied in the war, that destroying all the resource of a district seized by the enermy troops to prolong the time period of the war for the purpose that waiting for the rescue army or force the enermy to leave. Oberviously, it's orientated by the defending strategy. Unforturnitely, the government misuse this way as a tool to limit the freedom of people. For example, forbidding girls joining the entainment activity, that is just the same way mentioned in Milan's book.

What a darkness history of human. Even though, some parts of the world still govern their people centralized, indifferencal, and try to build up a nation with same kind of people, or say, benifit first to the group. How stupid it is in nowadays world...

profession

First time i got to know this word is in my English textbook of junior school as the form of professor shown in the word list. I bear firmly in my mind quickly originated from a memory of my father's story when he's travelled around the world. He often talked about his professor, a very knowledged and famous sicientist in British, who also came to my home once many years ago with a Parker pen as a present to me.

today, several yeas later, i notice this word again, coincidently, still from my textbook -- Mordern Auditing. And this time i was totally confused about what i was reading about when reviewing chapter 2, because what these almost 40 pages concerned seems not about the auditing itself, but in the light of philosephy, in detail for example, what is profession? ... Actually in my mind, or say, according to some so-called general rules, the first 1 or 2 chaper should have an overall introduction of what auditing is, like what educators do in my country. So here is another place i can feel something different after a year's living in this nation, and seems more deeply than any superficious point, that the westen people used to put the philosophy rationaly in the first position before any subject. Of course it's based on they enjoy the legally right of liberty of the beliefs and can argue with each other.

As a result, before they decribe a certain theory, the philosophy part would always be expressed first because it's the root of every hypothesis and directs the behaviour model of people when carrying out in practice. In contrary, we rarely invole such purely thinking in any introduction part in our country, most time we just being told what should do but why do like that. Definitely i'm now more favour the westen style of education, for sometimes the reason plays a more important role than concequence, and everybody should know it no matter what school people make a choice.

it rains cats and dogs

I am already totally insensitive about the weather here in MEL. Although learned some knowledge that 4 seasons' sight would got a show each all together in one day before coming here, especially that the quilt is still needed at the night in summer that even make me exciting, it still brought me many trouble all the time that drove me crary for a time...

When i was in my first half year, the puzzle i have to face was to judge the temperature of the outside..i know it sounds wired, but it really difficult to make an assessment just by looking through the window! The most often situation is all the indications showed that it should be sunny and warm day, people wear little, flowers and bees enjoy beautiful sunshine, however, when i went out with 'suitable' qualitity of clothes, i realized that all the scence i saw were not enough to be the basic to dicide wheather should i wear one more coat.

The reason I was 'cheated' is that I still justify the new environment with my old standard. people here are not afraid of cold winter, flowers and trees are won't hide their lifely side either, which are totally different from my home country.

After all this year's chaos life, the luky thing is i've already used to such unregular weather condition, although there is still something exceed what is proper happens occasionly. Like today, the sun shows clearly in the sky in the noon, but with the advent of dusk, the cloud become thicker and thicker. When i went out of the classroom, it rained cats and dogs...

J-POP

A year ago, when i fell in love with Yuki, i also changed my shoes of music --J-POP--my new lovely ones, after a whole years travel, one thing i found is it's the most suitable type i've never been with.

My J-POP experence commenced with some songs whose genres are more tent to American and European style, like AI, that almost couldn't be realized that she's from Japan. not only her voice, her songs type, but also her make-up..if she stood with artists from A&E, i'm sure no one would tell her Japanese backgroud!

And then i've got so many chances to get in touch with more Japanese stype of music, globe, pizzicato, Namie Amuro (she's one of my best favourate singer and also queen of hit-pop in Japan).....although getting understand the words part is still a tough part for me, just in terms from the melody, it's already good enough to be a splendid sight that exist in the universe between my ears.

girl right boy left

these days i found a very strange pheonomenon, that is the girl are always be on the right side of the boy when walking shoulder to shoulder. Acturally to my imagination, it should be inverse, because boys can protect girls when their right arms facing the outsite direction, of course the hint here is the assumption that most people are not left-handed.

I also inquired friends about this problem, one represented opinion from boys is that they can hand in hand with their gf, or hug their waists, which also can protect them from the possible dangerous. For example, when a car that out of control drove forward to them, the boy can push away the girl with the right hand that also with a bigger strenth. Then, what do their left hand do? One of them said it offten used to pick the bag or other staff like that.

Besides, let's have a look at girls' opinion! To my surprise, almost all the answers are they just feel like they should be on the right side, without any specific reason... then what does this 'feeling' really means? is that they need to be protected from their subconciouse? is right side more safer side in general? intereting social behaviour, isn't it? although tiny is it in the whole behaviour science, it still can express a general distinction between man and woman. And that is: Man are meant to be a protector of woman without controversy of woman. I think this charactoristic must be one of the few harmony in the current world betweem these two sides.

sleep well

Since my junior middle school, i learned to study in the deep night, with music flying around the space between my ears, with light moon and stars hanged in the sky. i like the feeling of embraced by the darkness, that seems the real peace ane quietness would fell, juct like the twinkling that Elizabeth start to play, the voice of shizuki, magically, brought audiences to the world of 闇.

I didn't sleep last night, it's not so much studying as enjoy the peacefulness presented by the midnight. I'm not sure why i chose yesterday to be a regression to my original life which i always belong to, but the consequence of changing is the new and 'advanced' lifestyle brought me more painfulness and less aquisitions, and the reason of which should be due to the more attention on courting the cost of what i lost that i never to be like.

3 days ago i asked my father how he handled his spoken en when lived in foreign countries in his early life, instead of answering my question, he talked about many staff about the obervious distinctions between easten and westen countries.. but, rudely, i interrupted his talking with impacience for the reason that he's not answering my question! and after that i realised that how stupid i was when dad explained the meaning of learning another language -- the real purpose hinting in the language learning should be getting to have a knowledge of the corresponding culture. In other words, it will be effortless to improve the spoken part to talk with local just with only one purpose, but multiaspects which, instead, help obtain a prograss imperceptibly. It means it will be more helpful if i can have an interest or will in understanding a different culture rather than just to get a high mark on the language test.

Undoubltly, learning with an interest is the happiest thing in the world, i draw, photograph, write, read because i like them, i can get a high mark on math is also because i like it. but recently the more i grow up, the less this thought exists, because the attitude to everything i'm doing is changing to a general one that for the money, reputation despite of the personality of oneself, which means I AM LOST myself in this world. how terrible it is...Forturenitely, i stop before i lost more. it's a scheme whose director owns thousend years life and implimentors are full of this world. i'm now understanding my father more and more and getting ready to continue his life unable to complete in that certain environment.

spitting blood

Seems finding a suitable partner of travelling is a bloody difficult thing for me, is that my problem? i used to be on holiday with various friends but apprently, we had different aim of going out. In other words, they seemed more interested and satisfired in the 'just looking' -- the thing is over after looking at the sight, photographing with the scupture, purchasing the suvirnier, but what i wish is to breath the air that unicle from other place, to sense the heart beat of ancient temple, to feel the origination of the honest thougts of locals, and of course, to photograph every detail of what i saw and what i feel.

Flinders Station(day)

Finders Station(night)

the meaning of travel

Resently I've got a chance to travel around MEL with a friend, exactly he is my friend's bf, came here for a so-called international conference or whatever, none of my business, what i care about was he would play with me rather than for that boring and meaningless 'no show'.

In the first day i picked him up at the Avelon airport -- a very small and cute internal airport and very far from the city, cost me 50minutes to get there. i remember there was a heavy fog that day, but when i reached Avelon, the fog was blowed up, the remoting mountains was around with the fog, it's so beatiful that made me forgot the tiring of getting up so early in the morning.

He's a tall and thin man and very easy-going, we talked a lot, but most of contents are about the knowledge of MEL, and to my surprice, he knows a great many information that even more than i can imagine!! Shame of me..friend told me that he read 3 books about Australia before coming here...wow... then i got to know what is the real attitude a travellor should have..pf....

In the first two days, i showed him the prospectus city in the centre of MEL where he also lived in. He said it's far more better than Sydney for the clearness and better setup. I haven't been there so can't comment on it for a while, but his critize dispel my idea of travelling there more or less. At the third day we went to the Great Ocien Road where sit in the surburb that almost 3 hours from city. I'm not sure whether it was lucky or not, with various weather condition we appreciate different sight of seaside, while it also brought out big trouble that walking and photographing in the rainy and freezing day really feel not convient, althougth still excited about 2 rainbows appeared over the sea at the same time...

st. killda beach

GREAT OCENT ROAD

hello nobody

hi, everybody, nobody, this is not my first blog acturally, the reason i move here is because i can't bear to write under the known people's eyes any more. remember in old days? people always record their daily life or happy thought or complaint on the diary book which is also highly personal that is not allowed to be open by others. yes, i admire thay way of writing because that is purally what we think about. but now, look what i've written before -- all of them are rubbish since every article is not just based on myself only, but a lot many other people, friends, strangers, for some purpose that would never come out but still existed.

so now, i decide not to chase that little hope for any reason, i just want to be myself. everybody is alone in this world, unavoidiable, the difference is only sit in whether u admit it or realise it. unforturanitly, i realized it and have to admit it -- extreme painful process, and thanks to someone i used to struggle to. without u and ur family, i may stay in a beautiful dream but far from the reality. i used to try to catch the truth in that dream, with some so-called pain, but i recogenized that it would never come out because there is no through way between these two worlds.

here is a totally strange place for me. fantasitc, isn't it? i feel free that appear from betraying. betraying is the most beautiful thing in this hopeless world because it represents the liberty that, satirely, is what human beings chased in the whole history.